Purpose over passion

Sometimes we seek things to fill the empty or lonely parts of our lives. Yet we are still left feel unsatisfied. We may gain some form of temporary pleasure but still not that eternal feeling of peace.

Often times the things that bring us pain are brought into our lives to challenge us and bring us closer to God. How close can we truly get to God? In our attempt to find Him we actually discover a deeper part of ourselves. One that we never thought existed because we were never desperate or hungry enough to search for it.

Recently I found myself in this situation. I had been praying and asking God for a particular thing and when He brought it into my life I was so happy. I was overwhelmed with feelings of joy and life.

Then as I fully enveloped myself in this new thing I found out that it wasn't what I truly wanted at all. It was all superficial and had no substance. It looked good and at times felt good but it didn't go deep into my soul.

I allowed myself to get caught up in the passion and the desires of my flesh instead of holding tight to my purpose. I had lost sight of my calling....what I was created for. God had a plan for me and I thought I could tell Him my plan.

I got a glimpse of what a mess I could make if I allowed my flesh to take control of my life. I decided that it was more important for me to hold onto the situations in my life that caused me discomfort because I realize that they keep me seeking the face of God. They drive me closer and closer to my calling.

The things that I have struggled with for the last 11 years are actually the very things that have formed me into the person I am today. People may judge me or the decisions I have made in my life but I am ok with it. I know that one day God will show them. I know His glory will be revealed in me.

I know that one day my pain and journey will be an inspiration and deliverance for others. What I struggle with is what makes me most valuable. It has created a passion is me that is established in truth. What God has established can not be destroyed because it is eternal.