Life sometimes has a way of knocking us down. It disrupts our plans. It can even leave us feeling vulnerable and scared. One day we are feeling victorious and the next defeated. I recently found myself feeling these emotions due to a chain of events that took place. I tried to wrap my mind around the reasons why. My carnal mind couldn't seem to come up with an answer and fear began to creep in. The only thing I knew was that I couldn't allow the images to form in my mind. I had to rest in the truth that always seems to set me free.
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
The word "trust" means: refuge, be confident or sure, hope, be bold.
The word "heart" as I discussed in a previous blog means: feelings, the will and even the intellect, center of anything.
The word "lean" means: rest, lie, rely, to support one's self, stay.
The word "understanding" means: meaning, knowledge, wisdom.
The word "acknowledge" means: to know, be diligent, comprehend, have respect, recognition, designation.
So essentially what God is saying through this scripture is to let your feelings, thoughts and emotions take refuge in Him. Don't rest or rely in your own knowledge or understanding. Be diligent, know and recognize Him in all your ways....in all that you do, your thoughts, your trials and your dreams. He will direct your path. He will lead you by His spirt of truth.
So when life seems to keep knocking me down and I can't seem to understanding why. I must rest in God. I must take refuge in His word and not rely or rest on my own carnal understanding. I must be bold and confident in what He has promised me and not allow my circumstances to determine my destiny. God has it all under control if we would just trust in Him. We can't be self sufficient and think that our own thoughts and ideas will carry us through our trials or life. We must acknowledge...become awaken to the fact that we are one with Him. If we could shut off our minds for one second we could hear His direction.
Our carnal minds could never comprehend that vastness and depth that is God. God is unlimited. His ways are not our ways. Although we may experience loss or pain we can not allow ourselves to become paralyzed with fear or doubt. We can't allow ourselves to be defeated. God's word says that the weapons in our lives may form....those thoughts of defeat and sadness may form...BUT they will not prosper. They will not destroy the promises God has made to us. We can still be confident and bold to believe in all that He has spoken into our lives. We can keep walking forward with our heads up knowing that even though we don't understand, God does. He knows the thoughts He has towards us. When we can surrender our will then we can walk in the peace that surpasses all understanding. We can rest in HIM and say "Lord not my will BUT let thy will be done".
"When uncertainity forms that is when we become certain that God is in control".
Monday, September 28, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Create
"For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible......all things were created by him, and for him." Col. 1:16
The word create means to make or fabricate. God made, designed and fabricated everything in heaven (spirit, unseen) and in earth (visible, natural). All things were created by him for him. We were created by Him in His image and likeness. If God is a creator and created all things and we were created like Him then we too are creators. Creativity is not obtained through natural means it is discovered in the spirit. As we begin to understand and awaken to our TRUE identity in Christ then we will walk in the power of that identity. There is so much inside of us that we have yet to achieve. There are untapped resources within us that have the answers and cures to many of the issues that plague our world today. Each person was designed to fulfill a calling and a destiny and we each have a gift to create a new level. A new heaven and a new earth. We have the ability to create a new level of understanding that will change the natural world we live in.
It is not all left up to the hands of God. God has given us dominion and power on this earth to fulfill His will and manifest His glory. We can't just sit back and expect our lives or situations to change if we are not walking out what God has called us to do. We can't expect Him to just plop millions in our laps and not put our hands to the plow. Whatever you are believing God for He has given you the power to create. If you are believing in a miracle of healing God gave you the power to speak and create that healing. If you are expecting the deliverance of a loved one God has given you the dominion and authority to speak that into existance. Maybe you are believing God to bless you with a business. God has also given you the wisdom and knowledge to go forth in faith and manifest that calling. Whatever God has called us to He has already prepared us for. He has already given us the keys to unlock the doors of our creativity. We are creators of the CREATOR. We are a product of Him. We don't live on this earth defeated and powerless.
I do belive that we have to educate ourselves and awaken the power within us. Whether it be to study the word of God or attend school to learn a skill. I also firmly believe that nothing can be added to us that God has not already equipped us with. If you are called to be a singer He already anointed you with the voice to do so. If you are called to be a fashion designer He already anointed you with the creativity to create SOMETHING out of NOTHING. If He called you to be a real estate investor He already anointed you with the wisdom to go forth and posses the land. All you have to do is awaken the power within you and develope your skills.
Many times we walk around this world feeling unfulfilled because we hold ourselves back. We are afraid of what others may think like I talked about in one of my posts. We are afraid of success because we don't want to cause attention. "What will people say?" "What will they think about me?" Sometimes we even feel unworthy. As did Mary when told she would carry the Son of God. Whatever gift God gave us we must go forth and boldly manifest it. We all have been called to contribute something magnificent to the world. He gave us wisdom to find out knowledge of witty inventions according to His word (Proverbs 8:12). God gave us all creativity through His wisdom. Not because we are worthy through our own works but to fulfill His will and bring Him glory. Remember, all things were created by Him for HIM. We were created for His good pleasure and all that we create is for His glory. Nothing we obtain is for our glory or vanity. Those who seek success for their own gain shall not find it. Success is for the Kingdom. Success is a reflection of your soul. Success is a state of mind. God's word says that we shall prosper even as our soul prospers. It is not just about prospering in finances or on our jobs. God also includes our relationships, health, state of mind and every area of your life.
Many have obtained wealth and success for their own vanity and gain but that doesn't mean they have peace or joy. Look at the state of the world today. God is talking to us. It is time that we put Him first and realize that all we obtain in the flesh must be maintained in the flesh. If God gave it to you through the spirit then it is eternal and their is no sorrow in it. God is doing a new thing in the earth. He is awakening a nation to their true identity in Him. I believe that cures for cancer, aids and many other disease will come forth in the new season. All of these things will be created by the spirit of God through yeilded vessels. Will you be one?
The word create means to make or fabricate. God made, designed and fabricated everything in heaven (spirit, unseen) and in earth (visible, natural). All things were created by him for him. We were created by Him in His image and likeness. If God is a creator and created all things and we were created like Him then we too are creators. Creativity is not obtained through natural means it is discovered in the spirit. As we begin to understand and awaken to our TRUE identity in Christ then we will walk in the power of that identity. There is so much inside of us that we have yet to achieve. There are untapped resources within us that have the answers and cures to many of the issues that plague our world today. Each person was designed to fulfill a calling and a destiny and we each have a gift to create a new level. A new heaven and a new earth. We have the ability to create a new level of understanding that will change the natural world we live in.
It is not all left up to the hands of God. God has given us dominion and power on this earth to fulfill His will and manifest His glory. We can't just sit back and expect our lives or situations to change if we are not walking out what God has called us to do. We can't expect Him to just plop millions in our laps and not put our hands to the plow. Whatever you are believing God for He has given you the power to create. If you are believing in a miracle of healing God gave you the power to speak and create that healing. If you are expecting the deliverance of a loved one God has given you the dominion and authority to speak that into existance. Maybe you are believing God to bless you with a business. God has also given you the wisdom and knowledge to go forth in faith and manifest that calling. Whatever God has called us to He has already prepared us for. He has already given us the keys to unlock the doors of our creativity. We are creators of the CREATOR. We are a product of Him. We don't live on this earth defeated and powerless.
I do belive that we have to educate ourselves and awaken the power within us. Whether it be to study the word of God or attend school to learn a skill. I also firmly believe that nothing can be added to us that God has not already equipped us with. If you are called to be a singer He already anointed you with the voice to do so. If you are called to be a fashion designer He already anointed you with the creativity to create SOMETHING out of NOTHING. If He called you to be a real estate investor He already anointed you with the wisdom to go forth and posses the land. All you have to do is awaken the power within you and develope your skills.
Many times we walk around this world feeling unfulfilled because we hold ourselves back. We are afraid of what others may think like I talked about in one of my posts. We are afraid of success because we don't want to cause attention. "What will people say?" "What will they think about me?" Sometimes we even feel unworthy. As did Mary when told she would carry the Son of God. Whatever gift God gave us we must go forth and boldly manifest it. We all have been called to contribute something magnificent to the world. He gave us wisdom to find out knowledge of witty inventions according to His word (Proverbs 8:12). God gave us all creativity through His wisdom. Not because we are worthy through our own works but to fulfill His will and bring Him glory. Remember, all things were created by Him for HIM. We were created for His good pleasure and all that we create is for His glory. Nothing we obtain is for our glory or vanity. Those who seek success for their own gain shall not find it. Success is for the Kingdom. Success is a reflection of your soul. Success is a state of mind. God's word says that we shall prosper even as our soul prospers. It is not just about prospering in finances or on our jobs. God also includes our relationships, health, state of mind and every area of your life.
Many have obtained wealth and success for their own vanity and gain but that doesn't mean they have peace or joy. Look at the state of the world today. God is talking to us. It is time that we put Him first and realize that all we obtain in the flesh must be maintained in the flesh. If God gave it to you through the spirit then it is eternal and their is no sorrow in it. God is doing a new thing in the earth. He is awakening a nation to their true identity in Him. I believe that cures for cancer, aids and many other disease will come forth in the new season. All of these things will be created by the spirit of God through yeilded vessels. Will you be one?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
My Cup Runneth Over
As I blog today I am just filled with so much joy and gratitude. Nobody knows like I know what the Lord has done for me. No one knows about the private moments of solitude when I didn't want to even take another breath because I was so gripped with pain. My heart was broken. My mind was a warfield. I was so depressed and alone that I would rather die then feel another day of pain, rejection or disappointment. I remember crying like a baby and asking God to just take it all away. I was praying the storm away. Every ounce of me felt depleted? My life felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds and dragged behind me. My issues seemed never ending. I didn't think I could ever be happy again after all the sadness. It was as if life punched me in the stomach and took my breath away. How could I get back up again? How could I find the love to accept the people who hurt me the most? How could I love myself when no one else seemed to love me? How could I find the strength to keep pressing towards what my spirit new was truth? No one knows my personal pain but many have experienced their own.
I remember lying awake at night running scenarios through my head. How will this work out. Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? WHY? WHY? WHY Lord WHY? Everytime I thought I understood and had it figured out the floor was taken from beneath me again. Once I had gotten up from one knock down here came another blow. I had began to question if God was real and if He even cared for me. Did He even see the pain? Did He hear my cry? Why is He not sending help? Why doesn't He just make it all stop? Those times in my life felt so heavy. They were so heavy that they kept me on my knees. I constantly had to seek the Lord for His strength. Although I endured many horrible days and nights I also remember the nights when God ministered to my soul. I remember feeling His arms around me as I sat in the dark crying. I remember hearing His voice telling me to keep holding on. God never left me nor forsaked me. He was always surrounding me with His love.
Today I can look back at those times and see God's hand. I can see how He used those times when I didn't even know my name to show me my true identity in Him. He used the same pain I couldn't describe in words to know inspire others with words of truth and hope.
I now know that we suffer through our flesh. Our flesh or ego are our carnal perceptions that have been formed from our circumstances and surroundings. BUT, within us lies a truth that surpasses all understanding. It is a truth in spirit that takes what the enemy (our carnal mind) means for bad and turns it around for good. Not just to save and awaken you but to save much people....to save nations. God took what I percieved as a bad time and used it to give me the words to minister to others. The hardships were times when God came in and stripped me of false identities. He shaped me and molded me into a vessel that could contain all that He had prepared for me. I no longer leak the truth...I am no longer bleeding. I am healed and now my cup runneth over. I have so much joy and peace that I am able to minster words of hope to others. Today I praise and thank God for all the amazing things He is doing in my life. I am so overjoyed by His grace and mercy. His love saturates my soul. Today I send love, hope, peace and encouragement to all of those who think that they can't take it anymore. When you feel like you are at the end of your rope that is when you will realize that you are not alone. You are not sufficient in yourself. You need the spirit of God to minister to the wounds that have been bleeding for years. You need God's love to heal your heart and teach you to love others and yourself again. You need His strength to keep pressing through the difficult times. You need His wisdom to help you pursue your calling and His peace to sustain you when you feel all hope is gone.
Today as my cup runneth over I invite you to stretch out your hands and partake of these words of life.
In God's Love,
Papi's Girl
I remember lying awake at night running scenarios through my head. How will this work out. Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? WHY? WHY? WHY Lord WHY? Everytime I thought I understood and had it figured out the floor was taken from beneath me again. Once I had gotten up from one knock down here came another blow. I had began to question if God was real and if He even cared for me. Did He even see the pain? Did He hear my cry? Why is He not sending help? Why doesn't He just make it all stop? Those times in my life felt so heavy. They were so heavy that they kept me on my knees. I constantly had to seek the Lord for His strength. Although I endured many horrible days and nights I also remember the nights when God ministered to my soul. I remember feeling His arms around me as I sat in the dark crying. I remember hearing His voice telling me to keep holding on. God never left me nor forsaked me. He was always surrounding me with His love.
Today I can look back at those times and see God's hand. I can see how He used those times when I didn't even know my name to show me my true identity in Him. He used the same pain I couldn't describe in words to know inspire others with words of truth and hope.
I now know that we suffer through our flesh. Our flesh or ego are our carnal perceptions that have been formed from our circumstances and surroundings. BUT, within us lies a truth that surpasses all understanding. It is a truth in spirit that takes what the enemy (our carnal mind) means for bad and turns it around for good. Not just to save and awaken you but to save much people....to save nations. God took what I percieved as a bad time and used it to give me the words to minister to others. The hardships were times when God came in and stripped me of false identities. He shaped me and molded me into a vessel that could contain all that He had prepared for me. I no longer leak the truth...I am no longer bleeding. I am healed and now my cup runneth over. I have so much joy and peace that I am able to minster words of hope to others. Today I praise and thank God for all the amazing things He is doing in my life. I am so overjoyed by His grace and mercy. His love saturates my soul. Today I send love, hope, peace and encouragement to all of those who think that they can't take it anymore. When you feel like you are at the end of your rope that is when you will realize that you are not alone. You are not sufficient in yourself. You need the spirit of God to minister to the wounds that have been bleeding for years. You need God's love to heal your heart and teach you to love others and yourself again. You need His strength to keep pressing through the difficult times. You need His wisdom to help you pursue your calling and His peace to sustain you when you feel all hope is gone.
Today as my cup runneth over I invite you to stretch out your hands and partake of these words of life.
In God's Love,
Papi's Girl
Sunday, September 20, 2009
You CAN'T Fail
"LIVE LIKE YOU CAN NEVER FAIL"
Sometimes we live our lifes with so many fears and so many preconcieved notions. We live our lives holding on to our past and thinking that maybe life will never change for us because to this point it hasn't. We are unwilling to step forward into what God has promised us because we are afraid of failure. We are afraid to look stupid, we are afraid of what people may think or say about us. We make excuses for why we haven't pursued our dreams and our passions. WE ARE AFRAID TO FAIL because we believe LIFE HAS FAILED US.
What others have done to us has nothing to do with our substance. What we have done in our past has nothing to do with our substance. Our substance consists of TRUTH, God's word. The passions and the dreams that we have for ourselves are really God inspired. We have been ordained, predestined and even programmed to achieve amazing things in our lives. The difference between those who succeed and those who don't are EXCUSES! "I can't do this because of....." We set ourselves up to fail. We say ok I am going to try. To me "trying" really means you have already given yourself an option to fail. You already made a plan B. You are essentially saying "okay I am going to try it out and if it doesn't happen or work then I am going to.....".
What if we pursued our dreams and passions like there wasn't an option to fail? What if we stepped out on God's word and faithfully put our hand to the plow. The word fail actually has the following meanings: to forsake, to fall short of, be unable and to prove insufficient. Doesn't God's word say that He will never leave you nor forsake you. It also says that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. God also promises that His grace is sufficient for us. Nowhere does He give us the option to fail because we CAN'T. As long as we acknowledge God in all our ways and work through His anointing then everything we do will be blessed. It will be empowered to prosper and succeed.
Often times we do pursue our own fleshly desires and pray that God puts His stamp of approval on them. In those cases it seems like when our plans don't go through we have failed but really we haven't. God uses those situations and teaches us how to use wisdom. God turns it all around and uses it for your good. He uses what we see as failures as a chance to awaken and prosper us. We can never fail if the end result brings GLORY to God. Even when we do pursue what God has approved and we fall down His word tells us to get back up. We don't have to stay down. We can get back up and keep pursuing the dream, the vision, our calling. We can't focus on the times we fell. We have to keep pressing forward. We have to keep sowing our seeds of faith. Everytime we plow and everytime we sow we are planting a seed into our future. We are setting ourselves up for a plentiful harvest.
We have to know that God did not program us to be unsucessful. He did not design us to be unfruitful. He said be fruitful and multiply. He says that He desires for us to prosper and succeed. He takes pleasure in the prosperity of His servants. He is commited to helping us achieve all that He has ordained for us. It is not in our own abilities that we achieve our dreams. It is through Christ that all things are possible. It is through the anointing and the power that God has planted within you. IF you are pursuing God then all that you put your hands to shall prosper in due season. God says not by (your) might nor by (your) power but by His spirit that you shall do all these things. Get out of your own mind and seek the mind of Christ. Your opportunities are endless. If God is for you...if God is working it out....if God has your back then who can be against you.
Resistance may come but keep believing in His word. Stay faithful in your pursuit. God will honor your faithfulness. Don't have a slack hand. Educate yourself and reach for the stars.
LOVE, FAITH AND SUCCESS.
Sometimes we live our lifes with so many fears and so many preconcieved notions. We live our lives holding on to our past and thinking that maybe life will never change for us because to this point it hasn't. We are unwilling to step forward into what God has promised us because we are afraid of failure. We are afraid to look stupid, we are afraid of what people may think or say about us. We make excuses for why we haven't pursued our dreams and our passions. WE ARE AFRAID TO FAIL because we believe LIFE HAS FAILED US.
What others have done to us has nothing to do with our substance. What we have done in our past has nothing to do with our substance. Our substance consists of TRUTH, God's word. The passions and the dreams that we have for ourselves are really God inspired. We have been ordained, predestined and even programmed to achieve amazing things in our lives. The difference between those who succeed and those who don't are EXCUSES! "I can't do this because of....." We set ourselves up to fail. We say ok I am going to try. To me "trying" really means you have already given yourself an option to fail. You already made a plan B. You are essentially saying "okay I am going to try it out and if it doesn't happen or work then I am going to.....".
What if we pursued our dreams and passions like there wasn't an option to fail? What if we stepped out on God's word and faithfully put our hand to the plow. The word fail actually has the following meanings: to forsake, to fall short of, be unable and to prove insufficient. Doesn't God's word say that He will never leave you nor forsake you. It also says that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. God also promises that His grace is sufficient for us. Nowhere does He give us the option to fail because we CAN'T. As long as we acknowledge God in all our ways and work through His anointing then everything we do will be blessed. It will be empowered to prosper and succeed.
Often times we do pursue our own fleshly desires and pray that God puts His stamp of approval on them. In those cases it seems like when our plans don't go through we have failed but really we haven't. God uses those situations and teaches us how to use wisdom. God turns it all around and uses it for your good. He uses what we see as failures as a chance to awaken and prosper us. We can never fail if the end result brings GLORY to God. Even when we do pursue what God has approved and we fall down His word tells us to get back up. We don't have to stay down. We can get back up and keep pursuing the dream, the vision, our calling. We can't focus on the times we fell. We have to keep pressing forward. We have to keep sowing our seeds of faith. Everytime we plow and everytime we sow we are planting a seed into our future. We are setting ourselves up for a plentiful harvest.
We have to know that God did not program us to be unsucessful. He did not design us to be unfruitful. He said be fruitful and multiply. He says that He desires for us to prosper and succeed. He takes pleasure in the prosperity of His servants. He is commited to helping us achieve all that He has ordained for us. It is not in our own abilities that we achieve our dreams. It is through Christ that all things are possible. It is through the anointing and the power that God has planted within you. IF you are pursuing God then all that you put your hands to shall prosper in due season. God says not by (your) might nor by (your) power but by His spirit that you shall do all these things. Get out of your own mind and seek the mind of Christ. Your opportunities are endless. If God is for you...if God is working it out....if God has your back then who can be against you.
Resistance may come but keep believing in His word. Stay faithful in your pursuit. God will honor your faithfulness. Don't have a slack hand. Educate yourself and reach for the stars.
LOVE, FAITH AND SUCCESS.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
My Inspiration
I felt moved to blog today about the women that have inspired my life throughout the years. Some of them I have warred with but have realized that they have been my greatest influences. Others are gentle souls that may not even know that they have touched my life. Today I give them all the platform because they deserve it and maybe they will help inspire you.
The first woman and most important of them all is my mother. Although we spent alot of time apart her influences run deep in my life. She is a survivor and a miracle from God. My mother went through a very difficult childhood, had a couple of failed marriages, an abusive relationship, some other really personal issues and a battle with cancer but never gave up on life. I may not agree or even understand why she made some of the decision she made along the way but I can say that she made it out. She endured like a soldier and never complained. The most inspiring memories are when she was battling cancer. She was diagnosed with a brain tumor and never once said "why me?". She would only shed silent tears due to the pain she endured. I am so proud and overjoyed to say that her battle was short and she came out victorious. It has now been 5 years without a cell of cancer in sight. Glory be to God. I have always been a very sensitive person. I used to take things to heart. I would let others opinions of me break me down until there was almost nothing left. My mom used to say " you need to get thick skin, you can't let people get to you. Imagine if I let everything that happened to me affect me." Although she may not realize it those words did something to me. They gave me strength. Instead of letting me cry she would make me stand strong. That is one thing about my mom, she is one of the strongest women I know. No matter what comes her way and tries to knock her down...she rises again from out of the dust. I used to get so angry because my mom would rarely express her love for me. I really have no vivid memories of her showing me affection. I know understand that because I didn't have a father figure in my life she filled that place. I needed someone to tell me to toughen up. I needed someone to say get over it and keep moving. Now that I am older and wiser she is the embracing mother that I now need. I now have the relationship I always wanted with her. I am so inspired and motivated by my mothers preserverance and I know God has blessed me with her so I can be the same for my daughter. She helped mold me into the women I am today. It is her warrior spirit that has sustained me through my journey. Thank you Mom. I love you.
My grandma is another woman who has given me so much strength. She is a strong independent woman that once owned her own business. Although she was always in a relationship she was the type of woman that knew how to take care of herself. She had a keychain that said "The best man for the job is a woman". She exemplified that quote to the T. Nana Lulu is what I called her. Nana always had it covered. What ever you needed fixed she had it taken care of. If she didn't know how she would find out how. She didn't need to play the helpless woman role, she got it done. I was Nana's little angel. My Nana always had me decked out in the best threads. I was her pride and joy and she treated me like I was her daughter. My mom was a teen mom so my Nana helped take care of me while my mom finished growing up. I remember my Nana always being there for me and my mom no matter what mistakes my mom made. We could always count on her to be there in our time of need. Another thing that influenced me was her tenacity for life. It didn't matter what she went through she got back up and tried it again. Hence her 4 marriages. :) Nana always took care of herself and had it going on. She carried herself with dignity and pride. I honor my Nana and thank God for her spirit of tenacity and strength.
Although my little princess in not yet a woman she carries herself like one. She has such a strong faith. I thank God for her because when times are rough she has a word to pull me through. She may only be 10 but her wisdom is beyond comprehension. It has to be the spirit of God that ministers through her because she always knows what to say and do to encourage me. When I found out I was going to have my little girl I picked Faith for her middle name. I never knew that she would be the faith I needed when I didn't know how I would pull through. Thank you baby for being my little rock. You are my little rocker girl. I know God has such amazing things for you. Your compassion and heart are so unique. Always remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Mommy loves you so much. I thank and praise God for your faith.
My mother in law is someone that I look up too and respect. She has been through so many things in her life including a divorce and a battle with breast cancer. She never gave in or gave up. She grabbed her boots by the straps and keep moving forward come rain or shine. She may have her days of doubt and sadness but her joyful days out number them. She has such a BIG heart and gives so much of herself unselfishly. If I am having a bad day or need help she lightens my load. She reminds me that I have to keep moving....keep going....you can't stay down. She may not say it with her mouth but her actions speak volumes. I know that no matter what if she has it she will give it. She will always be here for me and I thank and honor God for her heart of GIVING and JOY.
Last but not least, the next woman I look up to may come as a surprise to her but I have to give her her props. My dearest BFF, Words can not express the love I have for you. I always desired to have a sister in my life and God listened because He blessed me with you. I can always be myself around you. I don't have to hide my pain or weakness because you accept me as I am. Your love is my strength. I don't know sometimes how you endure the things you do. I know you don't know either but I know it has to do with your heart. You have such a love for God and His people and you inspire me to be so much more. I know you say that you look to me as your mentor but you don't even know how much you give to me. Just the fact that you allow me to minister to you in the midst of my craziness gives me hope...LOL! God can use me no matter what, right? I thank you for always wanting to spend time with me. I thank you for loving me and my baby unconditionally. I thank you for your hugs that almost take my breath away....literally. :) Thanks for always being willing to go to the "ends of the earth" for me. Oh and thanks for all the snacks you have provided me when I am hungry. My dear BFF I know our friendship is divinely ordered by God and He has such BIG things planned for us. I praise and thank God for your spirit of LOVE.
Each of these women have been through some very difficult and trying times. For their privacy I have chosen not to share them in detail. I have chosen to focus on the gifts that they have contributed to my life. One thing I know for sure is that they have all sowed seed in my land and the harvest is plentiful. Thank you God for these wonderful, beautiful, powerful and courageous women. There are many more that have left footprints on my heart but these are the ones that have been here from the start and continue to leave impressions on a daily basis. I love you all.
The first woman and most important of them all is my mother. Although we spent alot of time apart her influences run deep in my life. She is a survivor and a miracle from God. My mother went through a very difficult childhood, had a couple of failed marriages, an abusive relationship, some other really personal issues and a battle with cancer but never gave up on life. I may not agree or even understand why she made some of the decision she made along the way but I can say that she made it out. She endured like a soldier and never complained. The most inspiring memories are when she was battling cancer. She was diagnosed with a brain tumor and never once said "why me?". She would only shed silent tears due to the pain she endured. I am so proud and overjoyed to say that her battle was short and she came out victorious. It has now been 5 years without a cell of cancer in sight. Glory be to God. I have always been a very sensitive person. I used to take things to heart. I would let others opinions of me break me down until there was almost nothing left. My mom used to say " you need to get thick skin, you can't let people get to you. Imagine if I let everything that happened to me affect me." Although she may not realize it those words did something to me. They gave me strength. Instead of letting me cry she would make me stand strong. That is one thing about my mom, she is one of the strongest women I know. No matter what comes her way and tries to knock her down...she rises again from out of the dust. I used to get so angry because my mom would rarely express her love for me. I really have no vivid memories of her showing me affection. I know understand that because I didn't have a father figure in my life she filled that place. I needed someone to tell me to toughen up. I needed someone to say get over it and keep moving. Now that I am older and wiser she is the embracing mother that I now need. I now have the relationship I always wanted with her. I am so inspired and motivated by my mothers preserverance and I know God has blessed me with her so I can be the same for my daughter. She helped mold me into the women I am today. It is her warrior spirit that has sustained me through my journey. Thank you Mom. I love you.
My grandma is another woman who has given me so much strength. She is a strong independent woman that once owned her own business. Although she was always in a relationship she was the type of woman that knew how to take care of herself. She had a keychain that said "The best man for the job is a woman". She exemplified that quote to the T. Nana Lulu is what I called her. Nana always had it covered. What ever you needed fixed she had it taken care of. If she didn't know how she would find out how. She didn't need to play the helpless woman role, she got it done. I was Nana's little angel. My Nana always had me decked out in the best threads. I was her pride and joy and she treated me like I was her daughter. My mom was a teen mom so my Nana helped take care of me while my mom finished growing up. I remember my Nana always being there for me and my mom no matter what mistakes my mom made. We could always count on her to be there in our time of need. Another thing that influenced me was her tenacity for life. It didn't matter what she went through she got back up and tried it again. Hence her 4 marriages. :) Nana always took care of herself and had it going on. She carried herself with dignity and pride. I honor my Nana and thank God for her spirit of tenacity and strength.
Although my little princess in not yet a woman she carries herself like one. She has such a strong faith. I thank God for her because when times are rough she has a word to pull me through. She may only be 10 but her wisdom is beyond comprehension. It has to be the spirit of God that ministers through her because she always knows what to say and do to encourage me. When I found out I was going to have my little girl I picked Faith for her middle name. I never knew that she would be the faith I needed when I didn't know how I would pull through. Thank you baby for being my little rock. You are my little rocker girl. I know God has such amazing things for you. Your compassion and heart are so unique. Always remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Mommy loves you so much. I thank and praise God for your faith.
My mother in law is someone that I look up too and respect. She has been through so many things in her life including a divorce and a battle with breast cancer. She never gave in or gave up. She grabbed her boots by the straps and keep moving forward come rain or shine. She may have her days of doubt and sadness but her joyful days out number them. She has such a BIG heart and gives so much of herself unselfishly. If I am having a bad day or need help she lightens my load. She reminds me that I have to keep moving....keep going....you can't stay down. She may not say it with her mouth but her actions speak volumes. I know that no matter what if she has it she will give it. She will always be here for me and I thank and honor God for her heart of GIVING and JOY.
Last but not least, the next woman I look up to may come as a surprise to her but I have to give her her props. My dearest BFF, Words can not express the love I have for you. I always desired to have a sister in my life and God listened because He blessed me with you. I can always be myself around you. I don't have to hide my pain or weakness because you accept me as I am. Your love is my strength. I don't know sometimes how you endure the things you do. I know you don't know either but I know it has to do with your heart. You have such a love for God and His people and you inspire me to be so much more. I know you say that you look to me as your mentor but you don't even know how much you give to me. Just the fact that you allow me to minister to you in the midst of my craziness gives me hope...LOL! God can use me no matter what, right? I thank you for always wanting to spend time with me. I thank you for loving me and my baby unconditionally. I thank you for your hugs that almost take my breath away....literally. :) Thanks for always being willing to go to the "ends of the earth" for me. Oh and thanks for all the snacks you have provided me when I am hungry. My dear BFF I know our friendship is divinely ordered by God and He has such BIG things planned for us. I praise and thank God for your spirit of LOVE.
Each of these women have been through some very difficult and trying times. For their privacy I have chosen not to share them in detail. I have chosen to focus on the gifts that they have contributed to my life. One thing I know for sure is that they have all sowed seed in my land and the harvest is plentiful. Thank you God for these wonderful, beautiful, powerful and courageous women. There are many more that have left footprints on my heart but these are the ones that have been here from the start and continue to leave impressions on a daily basis. I love you all.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Change of Heart
I was touched today while watching Oprah interview Whitney Houston. God ministered to my heart during the interview but really showed up when she sang that beautiful and powerful song. The words she spoke were like a knife cutting into my soul. She said "she was not built to be broken....she didn't know her own strength". Many times when we go through difficult situations in our lives and we say "God is breaking me" or "I am broken". What does that really mean? The scriptures say that "A BONE OF HIM SHALL NOT BE BROKEN". That prophecy was fulfilled when Jesus was crucified on the cross according to John 19:33. In Verse 31 Pilate had told the soldiers to break the legs of the bodies that were on the cross. In Verse 32 they broke the legs of the first and the other which was crucified with him. BUT....in verse 33 it says "But when they came to Jesus, and saw that he was dead already, they brake not his legs:"
When the bible speaks of the bone it is a symbolization of the foundation. Our bones are the frame work on which our body is built upon. The earth was framed by the word of God. God created something out of nothing. He created what is seen by what is unseen. He created the earth by faith which is the spoken word. The bible says that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. Faith is what your foundation is. You were built by faith. God formed you from faith. You are spirit the spoken word of God. No matter what you may go through. Not matter what tries to come against you.....YOU CAN NOT BE BROKEN. God's word can never be broken. His word can never return void. What God has spoken into your life before the foundation of this world it will be established. It doesn't matter what your life or circumstance looks like now you will overcome it all by the power of God.
What does get broken is our heart. That is what causes us to feel pain and disappointment. It causes us to have anger, resentment, jealousy and fear. God's word says to guard your heart for out of it flow the issues of life. The heart represents our intellect, our understanding, our mind, our will, our feelings and the center of anything. So essentially what God is saying is that we should protect our minds and our feelings. Thoughts are formed by sight and then they form images in our minds. So when you see that all hell is breaking loose in your life, your husband is tripping, your money is looking funny and your health is declining an image forms in your mind. Your thoughts become "Oh my God what do I do?". " Am I going to die?". "How am I ever going to get out of this situation?". "Should I get a divorce?". "Am I going to lose my house and everything I own?". Our minds automatically start to conform (come into agreement, or into compliance) with what we see with our natural eyes instead of remembering who we are and who is in control of your life. God's word say "be ye not conformed into the image of this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind".
So as we see things and they form in our minds we then begin to speak them and create them just as God created the heavens and the earth. We have the same power and anointing that God has to form our world. That is why God says to guard our heart for out of it flow the issues of life. It is not about what someone else did to you. It is not about the economy. It is about what you have accepted to believe as truth for your life. Let me get really personal and tell you about my life right now. Currently my natural circumstance says I am unemployed and separated from my husband. Does that mean I am broken? No. God says that "A BONE OF HIM SHALL NOT BE BROKEN". The only thing that can be broken is my perception, my feelings, my will, my intellect, my understanding and the center of my life. What goes unbroken is my foundation...the truth that dwells within me. I have to begin to see my life as complete and prosperous according to God's word. I can't see myself as defeated and in turmoil. I must recognize my own strength that comes from the Lord. The center of my everything is God. He dwells within in me and His spirit flows into everything I do. His word says to "lean not unto our own understanding but acknowlege Him in all our ways". I can't worry about trying to understand why I don't have a job yet or why my husband is not home with me. I have to believe in God. I have to rest in Him and trust that He is in control. I have to remember that He wants what is best for me and right now what is best for me is having the opportunity to minister to you through these blogs.
Always remember that you were not made to be broken. Your heart may break but that is just God's way of breaking you from your way of seeing things so that He can bring His perfect plan into your life and heal you of your issues. You are His vessel let Him do with you as He pleases. You are made for His good pleasure. What your natural mind percieves as your weakness God's strength...His power....His word is made perfect in it. In verse 33 it said that the soldiers had saw that he (Jesus) was dead already so they did not brake his legs. What that means is that Jesus surrendered His spirit to God. He surrendered His life, His perception, His feelings, His intellect and His heart so that the prophecy could be fulfilled. So that God's word could be unbroken. So that God's will for Him could be established on the earth. So that His death and resurrection could bring life to us. The calling on His life was fulfilled through Him surrendering to God. Even though Jesus went through pain He knew His life was meant to bring life to others. He said "Father not my will but your will be done". So are you on this earth...you are a manifestation of God on this earth. Your pain and broken heart are meant to inspire and bring life to others. Surrender yourself today and let God change your heart.
****Had it not been for all that Whitney Houston went through she wouldn't have been able to minister this word to my spirit with such power. I give honor and praises to God for her. She was a sacrifice for many to receive life. This blog is dedicated to her and to all the women that have given of themselves to inspire others.
Peace, Love and Power to ALL. Amen.
When the bible speaks of the bone it is a symbolization of the foundation. Our bones are the frame work on which our body is built upon. The earth was framed by the word of God. God created something out of nothing. He created what is seen by what is unseen. He created the earth by faith which is the spoken word. The bible says that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. Faith is what your foundation is. You were built by faith. God formed you from faith. You are spirit the spoken word of God. No matter what you may go through. Not matter what tries to come against you.....YOU CAN NOT BE BROKEN. God's word can never be broken. His word can never return void. What God has spoken into your life before the foundation of this world it will be established. It doesn't matter what your life or circumstance looks like now you will overcome it all by the power of God.
What does get broken is our heart. That is what causes us to feel pain and disappointment. It causes us to have anger, resentment, jealousy and fear. God's word says to guard your heart for out of it flow the issues of life. The heart represents our intellect, our understanding, our mind, our will, our feelings and the center of anything. So essentially what God is saying is that we should protect our minds and our feelings. Thoughts are formed by sight and then they form images in our minds. So when you see that all hell is breaking loose in your life, your husband is tripping, your money is looking funny and your health is declining an image forms in your mind. Your thoughts become "Oh my God what do I do?". " Am I going to die?". "How am I ever going to get out of this situation?". "Should I get a divorce?". "Am I going to lose my house and everything I own?". Our minds automatically start to conform (come into agreement, or into compliance) with what we see with our natural eyes instead of remembering who we are and who is in control of your life. God's word say "be ye not conformed into the image of this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind".
So as we see things and they form in our minds we then begin to speak them and create them just as God created the heavens and the earth. We have the same power and anointing that God has to form our world. That is why God says to guard our heart for out of it flow the issues of life. It is not about what someone else did to you. It is not about the economy. It is about what you have accepted to believe as truth for your life. Let me get really personal and tell you about my life right now. Currently my natural circumstance says I am unemployed and separated from my husband. Does that mean I am broken? No. God says that "A BONE OF HIM SHALL NOT BE BROKEN". The only thing that can be broken is my perception, my feelings, my will, my intellect, my understanding and the center of my life. What goes unbroken is my foundation...the truth that dwells within me. I have to begin to see my life as complete and prosperous according to God's word. I can't see myself as defeated and in turmoil. I must recognize my own strength that comes from the Lord. The center of my everything is God. He dwells within in me and His spirit flows into everything I do. His word says to "lean not unto our own understanding but acknowlege Him in all our ways". I can't worry about trying to understand why I don't have a job yet or why my husband is not home with me. I have to believe in God. I have to rest in Him and trust that He is in control. I have to remember that He wants what is best for me and right now what is best for me is having the opportunity to minister to you through these blogs.
Always remember that you were not made to be broken. Your heart may break but that is just God's way of breaking you from your way of seeing things so that He can bring His perfect plan into your life and heal you of your issues. You are His vessel let Him do with you as He pleases. You are made for His good pleasure. What your natural mind percieves as your weakness God's strength...His power....His word is made perfect in it. In verse 33 it said that the soldiers had saw that he (Jesus) was dead already so they did not brake his legs. What that means is that Jesus surrendered His spirit to God. He surrendered His life, His perception, His feelings, His intellect and His heart so that the prophecy could be fulfilled. So that God's word could be unbroken. So that God's will for Him could be established on the earth. So that His death and resurrection could bring life to us. The calling on His life was fulfilled through Him surrendering to God. Even though Jesus went through pain He knew His life was meant to bring life to others. He said "Father not my will but your will be done". So are you on this earth...you are a manifestation of God on this earth. Your pain and broken heart are meant to inspire and bring life to others. Surrender yourself today and let God change your heart.
****Had it not been for all that Whitney Houston went through she wouldn't have been able to minister this word to my spirit with such power. I give honor and praises to God for her. She was a sacrifice for many to receive life. This blog is dedicated to her and to all the women that have given of themselves to inspire others.
Peace, Love and Power to ALL. Amen.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Perfect Love
And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwellth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgement: because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:16-18
I found myself living in fear. Wondering what if this happens and what if that doesn't happen. What if....what if.....what if? My life was so driven by fear. I lived in torment each day. Somedays I had a smile on my face and other days I couldn't stop crying. Often times I lived with anger and just wanted to scream or hurt someone.
These emotions were so really to me that I often times wondered why was I even alive anymore. As if my only way of peace would be death. Tears fill my eyes now just thinkng of the nights I laid awake with anxiety, fear and despair. My own mind was my worst enemy. I felt like a failure at times for not being where I thought I needed to be in life. I beat myself up for all the times I lost it. I lost my joy and my peace. I lost my mind. How could I lose it? How could I be so unstable when I knew in my mind that God loved me? How could I hate myself so much when I was taught that God was within me? I was tired of losing it. I was tired of riding the rollercoaster of emotions that tormented me day and night. How could I escape the bondages of my soul? How could I live with peace and joy in my heart when I felt so depleted, broken and alone?
I realized that all of my fear and torment came from the relationships I had in my past. I was wounded by people that I believed loved me so much. Fear often forms when we are wounded, disappointed, rejected and neglected. Love is the opposite of fear. It is nuturing. It embraces us and gives us a sense of security. Love sets us free. When we don't feel that security we feel vulnerable. Instead of putting ourselves out there and walking in freedom we shelter ourselves and place ourselves in bondage. We hide ourselves and never give ourselves the chance to experience true love. We never give ourselves the chance to walk in our true identity. Love is not just about a relationship with a loved one or a friend. Love is not just an emotion we feel. Love is really who we are.
The word of God says that God is love. It says that God dwells within us. So if God is love and dwells within us then we are love too. Love is our true identity. When we are awaken to the revelation that we are love then all fears and insecurities are cast out. We no longer walk in the bondages of our past because we realize that our past is not who we are. We don't have to live in the constant torment of disappointments. We don't have to protect ourselves from the world. One bad decision or failure does not mean you will always have them. When you learn that God loves you and will never forsake you then it doesn't matter who is or isn't in your life. I doesn't matter who abused you or let you down. Your past does not define you. You are love. You are unlimited in love. You can walk with boldness and take possesion of what God has promised you.
Remember the song: "Looking for love in all the wrong places"? That is what we do. We think that we are made complete in a relationship. We seek love from others. Whether it be from a man, a friend or a family member. We often times think that our healing comes from others. The word of God actually says that "He that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect." The word perfect means complete, of full age. The only way to be complete is to go back to where you came from. We are from God so "herein" is where you are completed....healed and made whole through love. Being perfect in God's love does not mean you will not experience pain or grief. It only means that it will not label you...it will not define you...it will not hinder you or keep you from fulfilling God's will.
I know how scary it is to confront your past. I know how difficult it is to confront those people that have broken your heart. I do believe without a shadow of a doubt that it is very important in the healing processes. Many times we sweep emotions under the rug and hope they just go away. What we fail to realize is that by releasing those feelings you break the chains that have keep you living in fear. Our relationships or experiences often define our relationship with God. We can't get past the lack of trust we have with our loved one so then we don't trust God. We can never be perfected in love if we don't let go of the past. We can never walk forth in our true identity in the kingdom of God if we keep looking back.
We must look within. We must unwrap the bandages of our wounds so they can heal. We must open our hearts again and embrace love. We must embrace life. We must embrace ourselves and give ourselves the opportunity to feel love....to love ourselves....and yes, even to love those that have hurt us.
I found myself living in fear. Wondering what if this happens and what if that doesn't happen. What if....what if.....what if? My life was so driven by fear. I lived in torment each day. Somedays I had a smile on my face and other days I couldn't stop crying. Often times I lived with anger and just wanted to scream or hurt someone.
These emotions were so really to me that I often times wondered why was I even alive anymore. As if my only way of peace would be death. Tears fill my eyes now just thinkng of the nights I laid awake with anxiety, fear and despair. My own mind was my worst enemy. I felt like a failure at times for not being where I thought I needed to be in life. I beat myself up for all the times I lost it. I lost my joy and my peace. I lost my mind. How could I lose it? How could I be so unstable when I knew in my mind that God loved me? How could I hate myself so much when I was taught that God was within me? I was tired of losing it. I was tired of riding the rollercoaster of emotions that tormented me day and night. How could I escape the bondages of my soul? How could I live with peace and joy in my heart when I felt so depleted, broken and alone?
I realized that all of my fear and torment came from the relationships I had in my past. I was wounded by people that I believed loved me so much. Fear often forms when we are wounded, disappointed, rejected and neglected. Love is the opposite of fear. It is nuturing. It embraces us and gives us a sense of security. Love sets us free. When we don't feel that security we feel vulnerable. Instead of putting ourselves out there and walking in freedom we shelter ourselves and place ourselves in bondage. We hide ourselves and never give ourselves the chance to experience true love. We never give ourselves the chance to walk in our true identity. Love is not just about a relationship with a loved one or a friend. Love is not just an emotion we feel. Love is really who we are.
The word of God says that God is love. It says that God dwells within us. So if God is love and dwells within us then we are love too. Love is our true identity. When we are awaken to the revelation that we are love then all fears and insecurities are cast out. We no longer walk in the bondages of our past because we realize that our past is not who we are. We don't have to live in the constant torment of disappointments. We don't have to protect ourselves from the world. One bad decision or failure does not mean you will always have them. When you learn that God loves you and will never forsake you then it doesn't matter who is or isn't in your life. I doesn't matter who abused you or let you down. Your past does not define you. You are love. You are unlimited in love. You can walk with boldness and take possesion of what God has promised you.
Remember the song: "Looking for love in all the wrong places"? That is what we do. We think that we are made complete in a relationship. We seek love from others. Whether it be from a man, a friend or a family member. We often times think that our healing comes from others. The word of God actually says that "He that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect." The word perfect means complete, of full age. The only way to be complete is to go back to where you came from. We are from God so "herein" is where you are completed....healed and made whole through love. Being perfect in God's love does not mean you will not experience pain or grief. It only means that it will not label you...it will not define you...it will not hinder you or keep you from fulfilling God's will.
I know how scary it is to confront your past. I know how difficult it is to confront those people that have broken your heart. I do believe without a shadow of a doubt that it is very important in the healing processes. Many times we sweep emotions under the rug and hope they just go away. What we fail to realize is that by releasing those feelings you break the chains that have keep you living in fear. Our relationships or experiences often define our relationship with God. We can't get past the lack of trust we have with our loved one so then we don't trust God. We can never be perfected in love if we don't let go of the past. We can never walk forth in our true identity in the kingdom of God if we keep looking back.
We must look within. We must unwrap the bandages of our wounds so they can heal. We must open our hearts again and embrace love. We must embrace life. We must embrace ourselves and give ourselves the opportunity to feel love....to love ourselves....and yes, even to love those that have hurt us.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
One in Love
Why do we feel the need to defend our beliefs? Don't we all have the right to our own opinions?
We have all been made unique by God. We all endure different hardships and victories to fulfill a specific purpose. Not everyone has been called to perform the same job in the Kingdom but we have all been called to magnify God.....bring glory to His name....and walk in Truth. Each persons truth is specific to their journey. Although we may not agree with one another we must embrace and recieve one another with the same love God has accepted us in. It is not about who is right or wrong. It is about the purpose. We all have a purpose and we all endure circumstances to reveal a truth on this earth that couldn't be revealed otherwise. We each play a part in the awakening of human consciousness. Through the pain we are moved into healing. Through the darkness we are awakened to the light. What I learn from my journey may be different from you but I can still love you. I can still allow you to be who God has called you to be.
Many times we judge or debate our beliefs in order to defend our human, egoic identity. We attach ourselves to thoughts and perceptions that often times create more death then life. We feel that what we believe is the only truth and everyone else is wrong. We form a shell of protection around ourselves in order to find our sense of self. "If I am wrong then what is truth?" "If I am not who I think I am then who am I?" It is very scary to lose our own percieved identity that we have created in the realm of form. It is hard for our carnal mind to wrap itself around the unlimited realm of the spirit. The world catagorizes us by our religions, beliefs, nationality, economic status, education, etc. In the spirit we are all one. We are all righteous under the mighty name of God. We are cleansed by His blood and their is no shame or condemnation. Their is no judgement in the spirit. God says lean not unto your own understanding but acknowledge Me in all your ways. We must not lean or trust in our own beliefs as the ultimate and only truth. We must acknowlegde....recognize....awaken to the fact that God is in ALL things.
God does place certain people in our lives to reveal our weaknesses and where we still need to be set free but He also reveals where we have power, grace and love. We are all one in the spirit. We all become sacrifices one for another. We are all a part of a greater picture. We all play a part in a greater calling or mission. If we can stop fighting and trying to defend our beliefs then we can all walk as one in unity and bring peace and healing to the world. Resistance only makes the issues greater. Surrender brings change.
We have all been made unique by God. We all endure different hardships and victories to fulfill a specific purpose. Not everyone has been called to perform the same job in the Kingdom but we have all been called to magnify God.....bring glory to His name....and walk in Truth. Each persons truth is specific to their journey. Although we may not agree with one another we must embrace and recieve one another with the same love God has accepted us in. It is not about who is right or wrong. It is about the purpose. We all have a purpose and we all endure circumstances to reveal a truth on this earth that couldn't be revealed otherwise. We each play a part in the awakening of human consciousness. Through the pain we are moved into healing. Through the darkness we are awakened to the light. What I learn from my journey may be different from you but I can still love you. I can still allow you to be who God has called you to be.
Many times we judge or debate our beliefs in order to defend our human, egoic identity. We attach ourselves to thoughts and perceptions that often times create more death then life. We feel that what we believe is the only truth and everyone else is wrong. We form a shell of protection around ourselves in order to find our sense of self. "If I am wrong then what is truth?" "If I am not who I think I am then who am I?" It is very scary to lose our own percieved identity that we have created in the realm of form. It is hard for our carnal mind to wrap itself around the unlimited realm of the spirit. The world catagorizes us by our religions, beliefs, nationality, economic status, education, etc. In the spirit we are all one. We are all righteous under the mighty name of God. We are cleansed by His blood and their is no shame or condemnation. Their is no judgement in the spirit. God says lean not unto your own understanding but acknowledge Me in all your ways. We must not lean or trust in our own beliefs as the ultimate and only truth. We must acknowlegde....recognize....awaken to the fact that God is in ALL things.
God does place certain people in our lives to reveal our weaknesses and where we still need to be set free but He also reveals where we have power, grace and love. We are all one in the spirit. We all become sacrifices one for another. We are all a part of a greater picture. We all play a part in a greater calling or mission. If we can stop fighting and trying to defend our beliefs then we can all walk as one in unity and bring peace and healing to the world. Resistance only makes the issues greater. Surrender brings change.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Poem
In my brokeness God came to redeem me. He took me from the hands of the enemy. He released the shackles from my mind.....the scales from my eyes. He awoke me out of the dream that said I was insignificant and of no use. His loving arms embraced my damaged heart. His love...His love was a refuge for my soul. When darkness rushed in His truth illuminated the way. Nothing could stand between us. He redeemed me. Enveloped me. Surrounded me with His love. All fear was cast out. My spirit set free. No longer was I bound by the thoughts of loneliness, pain and sorrow. Joy unspeakable was now my home.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
My Heart
How many of us carry around baggage from our past? Whether it be from our childhood or a failed marriage. Maybe a business we had to close or a home we lost. We build up walls and dig trenches around our hearts so that no one or nothing can hurt us again. Some of us build hard exteriors and act like we don't care what anyone thinks about us. Some put on a happy face so that no one can see their pain and sorrow. We walk around with masks pretending like we are okay. BUT.....No one knows the private intimate thoughts we have going on in our heads. No one can see the cracks and bruises on our hearts. We say we are okay and we have moved on with our lives but like a flood the emotions come rushing in again.
For many years I have struggled with the broken relationships I have had with my parents and my husband. Although my mom and I are close now there was a time when that wasn't so. I had to open up my heart and let her know the pain and anger I had towards her. Today I had to do the same with my father. I don't hate either one of them. I forgive them for what they did or didn't do. I love them with all my heart but I needed to still heal. You can still love with a broken heart.
For many years I blamed them for the way my life played out. I had resentment and anger towards them. I later realized that all I had gone through was ordained by God. I couldn't continue to go around acting like a victim. Yes, I endured pain and disappointments but they drove me closer to God. God says that His strength is made perfect in weakness. So when I felt most vulnerable and alone God was perfecting His love in me. When I felt angry God was perfecting His peace. When I felt sad He was perfecting His joy. What the enemy meant for bad God turned it around for my good. What is good for me may not always feel good. There are times when we don't want to face the pain. There are times when we would rather eat or drink our emotions away. God has a way of stripping us until we are naked, vulernable and willing to surrender.
You see through all of the pain I endured in my life I have come to know God more intimately. I have learned about myself. God and I are one so how can I do one without the other. God's thoughts for us are not evil. He wishes to prosper us and heal us. He desires to use us for His glory. He designed us to endure hardships and come out on the other side victorious.
The key to healing our hearts is to fully surrender them to God. We must completely trust that He wants what is best for us. We must realize that our pain can hold us back if we don't let it go. Like a cancer it can eat up our dreams, our marriages, our careers, our family and our children. How? By not allowing us to fully live and give all of ourselves. We don't believe in ourselves because of our trust issues. We are unhappy so we make everyone around us unhappy. We are depressed so we call in to work all the time so we can stay home and cry. We are angry so we yell at our kids or family members, especially those that hurt us. I know becaue I did all of this.
I can't blame anyone for where I am in my life. They were just vessels God used to get me to my point of surrender. So that I can awaken out of this dream and move into my life's purpose. I had to learn that I was not the abandoned, rejected and unloved little girl I grew up thinking I was. I am not my circumstance.....I am not my story.......I am not a victim. God says I am an overcomer. I can have a successful marriage and relationship with my parents. I can start a business and live a prosperous life. I can help awaken others to truth and heal nations. I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.
I can take all the strength God has instilled in me and overcome every adversity. I know who I am and know that what I went through does not determine my destiny. God is in control of my life and that is okay with me.
For many years I have struggled with the broken relationships I have had with my parents and my husband. Although my mom and I are close now there was a time when that wasn't so. I had to open up my heart and let her know the pain and anger I had towards her. Today I had to do the same with my father. I don't hate either one of them. I forgive them for what they did or didn't do. I love them with all my heart but I needed to still heal. You can still love with a broken heart.
For many years I blamed them for the way my life played out. I had resentment and anger towards them. I later realized that all I had gone through was ordained by God. I couldn't continue to go around acting like a victim. Yes, I endured pain and disappointments but they drove me closer to God. God says that His strength is made perfect in weakness. So when I felt most vulnerable and alone God was perfecting His love in me. When I felt angry God was perfecting His peace. When I felt sad He was perfecting His joy. What the enemy meant for bad God turned it around for my good. What is good for me may not always feel good. There are times when we don't want to face the pain. There are times when we would rather eat or drink our emotions away. God has a way of stripping us until we are naked, vulernable and willing to surrender.
You see through all of the pain I endured in my life I have come to know God more intimately. I have learned about myself. God and I are one so how can I do one without the other. God's thoughts for us are not evil. He wishes to prosper us and heal us. He desires to use us for His glory. He designed us to endure hardships and come out on the other side victorious.
The key to healing our hearts is to fully surrender them to God. We must completely trust that He wants what is best for us. We must realize that our pain can hold us back if we don't let it go. Like a cancer it can eat up our dreams, our marriages, our careers, our family and our children. How? By not allowing us to fully live and give all of ourselves. We don't believe in ourselves because of our trust issues. We are unhappy so we make everyone around us unhappy. We are depressed so we call in to work all the time so we can stay home and cry. We are angry so we yell at our kids or family members, especially those that hurt us. I know becaue I did all of this.
I can't blame anyone for where I am in my life. They were just vessels God used to get me to my point of surrender. So that I can awaken out of this dream and move into my life's purpose. I had to learn that I was not the abandoned, rejected and unloved little girl I grew up thinking I was. I am not my circumstance.....I am not my story.......I am not a victim. God says I am an overcomer. I can have a successful marriage and relationship with my parents. I can start a business and live a prosperous life. I can help awaken others to truth and heal nations. I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.
I can take all the strength God has instilled in me and overcome every adversity. I know who I am and know that what I went through does not determine my destiny. God is in control of my life and that is okay with me.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Fearfully and Wonderfully
I will praise thee: for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Psalms 139: 14
You have been made and fashioned to be profoundly awed, respected and loved. You are different, unique, and set apart. God designed you for His glory. You are made in His image and after His likeness according to Genesis 1:26. You are a respresentative of God and resemble Him in character. His spirit is one with yours. You are perfect and complete in Him.
So many women deal with issues of low self esteem due to poor body image. We are bombarded with images of what the media portrays as perfect and beautiful. Our little girls are growing up thinking they have to look like a Barbie or Bratz doll to be beautiful. A size 12 is now considered full figured by some women. Diet pills and diets are all the rage. Eating disorders plague our college campuses. Women find it okay to portray themselves as stupid or easy to attract a man. Some women even allow men to abuse them physically, mentally or sexually.
Why is it that we allow this to affect us? Why do we allow ourselves to be abused and taken advantage of?
God has made us to be awed, respected and loved. He has made us in His image and after His likeness. We should carry ourselves with pride and respect. No man or media has the right to tell us that we are not worthy or beautiful. We are God's mighty work. Marvellous are God's works. You are a miracle.
Your beauty is much deeper then what the natural eye can percieve. Don't allow yourself to be a part of the illusion anymore. Open the eyes of your soul and begin to embrace who you are in the spirit. When you begin to see yourself as God's sees you so will everyone else.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Superwoman
My heart aches as I write this thinking about the millions and millions of women who live their lives unfulfilled. The are proud to be mothers and do a super job at it but what about themselves. We live frustrated with the world and blame everyone else for how we feel. We expect our lives to change but yet leave it in the hands of someone else. We give away the power and authority that God has given us. We wake up feeling used and go to sleep feeling lonely. How can we live in this life when we can't even stand to look at ourselves in the mirror? How can I be a mother when I don't even know my own name anymore? I have taken on so many titles and responsibilities that I no longer have a sense of purpose of my own. How do I begin living a life for myself when everyone else depends on me? Is it selfish to want to run away and leave everything behind?
These are very real feelings that we feel as women because we do give so much of our energy to nuture the lives of others. In the process of raising a family we lose our own identity. We forget how beautiful we are because we don't wear a size 8 anymore, we have stretch marks, our hair is thining out and we are growing hair in areas that we once thought only men grew them in. (lip, chin..etc.)
Have you ever felt like life was not worth living anymore? Did you ever feel like no one understood or even cared about the emptiness you feel inside? "Can anyone see my pain?". "Does anyone know that I am so depleted I can't even stand?". I speak these things from a very personal place because I did once feel all of this. I know many women who still do. I also know there are many who are ashamed to admit they do.
You see we feel that we are supposed to be strong....always hold it together because we are moms. "I can't show weakness because I am my childrens' role model." Hello! Weakness is not a bad thing. It is actually a sign of virtue. How can I ever be strong and know my worth unless the shell breaks? Your true beauty, value and strength comes from the ability to be vulnerable and compassionate....it comes from the inside. "In your weakness, God's strength is made perfect".
I personally have had many powerful and uplifting talks about life with my daughter when I was broken. It is important that our children learn that even if you have a bad day you can turn it around. They need to learn how to process emotions and move through life. We have to realize that every emotion that we feel is valid and has a place in the journey of self discovery. The closer we get to awakening the harder the struggle. We are breaking bondages and minsets that have been a part of us for many years.
Have you ever let a pan or plate sit dirty for several hours or even days? How hard is it to clean? Or have you ever tried to unscrew a rusty bolt? They only way to get that plate clean is to emerce it in some soapy water and let it soak. They only way to unscrew that bolt sometimes is to spray some grease or oil on it. That is what must take place when we are breaking out of our shell....out of our set mindsets. We have to be broken and allow the emotions to draw out the truth that is within us. We have to let God's truth (the water) cleanse us (soap) and heal us. We have to let the anointing (the grease, the oil) loosen the bondages.
We have all been designed to fulfill a purpose. God has ordained each of us to play a very important part in the restoration of His kingdom and in the reconciliation of His family. God invites us all to this marriage according to His word but only few accept the invitation. Only few take on the infirmities and burdens of His people to bring about freedom and life. Just as there are only a few soldiers that fight to defend our country. Your calling or purpose may not be to preach or start a ministry. God has a different purpose for each person. Some may be called to be teachers and enrich the lives of the next generation. Some may be called to be leaders in politics and change the nation (hello Obama). Others may just be called to be great mothers and wives and be a role model to someone that never had one in their life. None is greater then the other because they all serve the same mission.....to Glorify God and save His people. To awaken a nation and stop the self inflicted pain.
Sometimes we think that this life we live is really "OUR life". We get into this "MY Life" mindset. We have pitty parties with ourselves because we feel personally attacked or threatened when life isn't the way we want it. We have to realize that we are all God's children and His vessels. He allows certain situations to happen in order to steer us in the path of His calling for our life. It is about His purpose and His glory.
How do I endure hardship and still believe? How do I find purpose in all this caos? How do I keep myself from ripping someones head off? :) You awaken to the fact that God has called you. He has ordained you and all that you are going through is for His purpose. More then anything you must know without a shadow of a doubt that He loves you. "Perfect love casts out all fear." Fear tries to keep you in control and doesn't allow you to move by God's spirit, into your destiny. When we surrender to God's love we can then begin to see His glory revealed in us. We can begin to awaken to our true identity and live in peace and joy.
You know when your child does something "bad"? You know that they are not bad kids because you know their hearts. You understand that maybe they have learned a trait or mannerism from another child. Or maybe they just need to mature. You love them the same but you know they need to be punished or corrected because if not they will do it again. Sometimes we put them in time out or ground them without certain priviliges. They get so mad and say "mom when can I come out of the room". " Mom when can I watch TV". Sometimes they even say they hate you, never want to see you again or "I wish you weren't my mom". They go in their rooms and scream their heads off. Does any of that sound familiar? It should because many of US as adults do that with God. "Lord, why must I go through this"...."how much longer must I stay in this marriage"...."how much longer must I be unemployed". Can it be that the trial you are going through is preparing you for a greater purpose? Can it be that the marriage you are in is revealing your heart? Can it be that this time out of work is giving you time alone with God so He can heal your heart?
The number one thing is like I said GOD LOVES YOU. His thoughts of you are not to hurt you. He wants to prosper you. We love our children but we must show them the way so that they can mature and be all that they have been called to be. God does the same with us.
We often get lost playing roles. We lose our identity trying to develope others'. Then one day God says that is enough. Our spirits begin to stir and we become frustrated. You see our spirits know truth and deep down inside we know there is more. We know that we have been called...invited and we have excepted that call..the invitation to the marriage. All your history becomes HIStory. He uses your life to draw people unto Himself. He uses your life to affect a nation not just your family. You are a SUPERWOMAN. You have super powers and you have been designed to soar above every circumstance that comes up against you. Take responsibility for your own life and put it in the hands of God. You are His and He is yours. You are a woman of virtue. Do you understand how amazing it is to be a woman? You are tender enough to love unconditionally but yet strong enough to bring forth life. Glory to God.
These are very real feelings that we feel as women because we do give so much of our energy to nuture the lives of others. In the process of raising a family we lose our own identity. We forget how beautiful we are because we don't wear a size 8 anymore, we have stretch marks, our hair is thining out and we are growing hair in areas that we once thought only men grew them in. (lip, chin..etc.)
Have you ever felt like life was not worth living anymore? Did you ever feel like no one understood or even cared about the emptiness you feel inside? "Can anyone see my pain?". "Does anyone know that I am so depleted I can't even stand?". I speak these things from a very personal place because I did once feel all of this. I know many women who still do. I also know there are many who are ashamed to admit they do.
You see we feel that we are supposed to be strong....always hold it together because we are moms. "I can't show weakness because I am my childrens' role model." Hello! Weakness is not a bad thing. It is actually a sign of virtue. How can I ever be strong and know my worth unless the shell breaks? Your true beauty, value and strength comes from the ability to be vulnerable and compassionate....it comes from the inside. "In your weakness, God's strength is made perfect".
I personally have had many powerful and uplifting talks about life with my daughter when I was broken. It is important that our children learn that even if you have a bad day you can turn it around. They need to learn how to process emotions and move through life. We have to realize that every emotion that we feel is valid and has a place in the journey of self discovery. The closer we get to awakening the harder the struggle. We are breaking bondages and minsets that have been a part of us for many years.
Have you ever let a pan or plate sit dirty for several hours or even days? How hard is it to clean? Or have you ever tried to unscrew a rusty bolt? They only way to get that plate clean is to emerce it in some soapy water and let it soak. They only way to unscrew that bolt sometimes is to spray some grease or oil on it. That is what must take place when we are breaking out of our shell....out of our set mindsets. We have to be broken and allow the emotions to draw out the truth that is within us. We have to let God's truth (the water) cleanse us (soap) and heal us. We have to let the anointing (the grease, the oil) loosen the bondages.
We have all been designed to fulfill a purpose. God has ordained each of us to play a very important part in the restoration of His kingdom and in the reconciliation of His family. God invites us all to this marriage according to His word but only few accept the invitation. Only few take on the infirmities and burdens of His people to bring about freedom and life. Just as there are only a few soldiers that fight to defend our country. Your calling or purpose may not be to preach or start a ministry. God has a different purpose for each person. Some may be called to be teachers and enrich the lives of the next generation. Some may be called to be leaders in politics and change the nation (hello Obama). Others may just be called to be great mothers and wives and be a role model to someone that never had one in their life. None is greater then the other because they all serve the same mission.....to Glorify God and save His people. To awaken a nation and stop the self inflicted pain.
Sometimes we think that this life we live is really "OUR life". We get into this "MY Life" mindset. We have pitty parties with ourselves because we feel personally attacked or threatened when life isn't the way we want it. We have to realize that we are all God's children and His vessels. He allows certain situations to happen in order to steer us in the path of His calling for our life. It is about His purpose and His glory.
How do I endure hardship and still believe? How do I find purpose in all this caos? How do I keep myself from ripping someones head off? :) You awaken to the fact that God has called you. He has ordained you and all that you are going through is for His purpose. More then anything you must know without a shadow of a doubt that He loves you. "Perfect love casts out all fear." Fear tries to keep you in control and doesn't allow you to move by God's spirit, into your destiny. When we surrender to God's love we can then begin to see His glory revealed in us. We can begin to awaken to our true identity and live in peace and joy.
You know when your child does something "bad"? You know that they are not bad kids because you know their hearts. You understand that maybe they have learned a trait or mannerism from another child. Or maybe they just need to mature. You love them the same but you know they need to be punished or corrected because if not they will do it again. Sometimes we put them in time out or ground them without certain priviliges. They get so mad and say "mom when can I come out of the room". " Mom when can I watch TV". Sometimes they even say they hate you, never want to see you again or "I wish you weren't my mom". They go in their rooms and scream their heads off. Does any of that sound familiar? It should because many of US as adults do that with God. "Lord, why must I go through this"...."how much longer must I stay in this marriage"...."how much longer must I be unemployed". Can it be that the trial you are going through is preparing you for a greater purpose? Can it be that the marriage you are in is revealing your heart? Can it be that this time out of work is giving you time alone with God so He can heal your heart?
The number one thing is like I said GOD LOVES YOU. His thoughts of you are not to hurt you. He wants to prosper you. We love our children but we must show them the way so that they can mature and be all that they have been called to be. God does the same with us.
We often get lost playing roles. We lose our identity trying to develope others'. Then one day God says that is enough. Our spirits begin to stir and we become frustrated. You see our spirits know truth and deep down inside we know there is more. We know that we have been called...invited and we have excepted that call..the invitation to the marriage. All your history becomes HIStory. He uses your life to draw people unto Himself. He uses your life to affect a nation not just your family. You are a SUPERWOMAN. You have super powers and you have been designed to soar above every circumstance that comes up against you. Take responsibility for your own life and put it in the hands of God. You are His and He is yours. You are a woman of virtue. Do you understand how amazing it is to be a woman? You are tender enough to love unconditionally but yet strong enough to bring forth life. Glory to God.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Are You Truly Living?
Are you truly living or are you just surviving? It is so easy to get distracted with our day to day routines. We do this over here and then we have that over there. Mom's especially know all to well what it is to be on autopilot. We have the dinner in the oven, the laundry washing, the kids at the table doing homework as we are writing out the bills. Yes, these are all important parts of our day to day lives because they help us to survive but what else is there? Do you feel fulfilled? Do you feel yourself? Do you do these things with love in your heart or are they more like chores and burdens? Sometimes I catch myself snapping for no apparent reason....easily irratated. Have you ever felt that way? I know for most women we have happily accepted the role as a mother, wife, caregiver, taxi driver and maid. Not to mention many of us even have a 40 hour a week job. Although our plates are full and we don't know where one thing ends and another begins we feel like something is missing. Can it be that we often fill our lives with so much to numb the unfulfilled and broken areas in our lives? You once had a dream and now it is in the junk drawer with all the other nick nacks that have no place. What happened to your spunk, what happened to your sensuality, what happened to your joy? Did you throw it away? Did you place it on the back burner because your kids lives are more important? Well it is time you look for it. It is time you start living and not just surviving. Stop wearing all the masks that hide your true emotions. Stop acting like your ok because you don't want anyone to see you fall apart. After all you are the one holding it all together for the family.
What happens if I pursue my dream and I fail? I can't waste time on myself when everyone else needs me. I barely have time to shower and paint my own nails....forget going to school or taking time out to go to the gym. These R the conversations we have with ourselves. We live frustrated and unfulfilled because we think that when we got married or had children we had to trade our lives in. That is the furthest thing from the truth. This is when we are truly supposed to be living. How can we be a good caregiver if we don't care for ourselves? How can I tell my daughter to reach for the stars when I haven't reached for mine? We can't neglect ourselves. We have to embrace our relationships but know when it's time to let go and take care of ourselves. It is not selfish to take time out to pamper yourself, lock yourself in a room to meditate or even dream about starting a business of your own. I know we often feel guilty when we take time away from our kids. We think that we need to stay with them 24/7 or they will feel abandoned. What about you? Why have you abandoned yourself?
It's time we teach our children by example. It's time we become the best moms, wives and business women possible. By putting ourselves and our dreams on the TO DO LIST.
What happens if I pursue my dream and I fail? I can't waste time on myself when everyone else needs me. I barely have time to shower and paint my own nails....forget going to school or taking time out to go to the gym. These R the conversations we have with ourselves. We live frustrated and unfulfilled because we think that when we got married or had children we had to trade our lives in. That is the furthest thing from the truth. This is when we are truly supposed to be living. How can we be a good caregiver if we don't care for ourselves? How can I tell my daughter to reach for the stars when I haven't reached for mine? We can't neglect ourselves. We have to embrace our relationships but know when it's time to let go and take care of ourselves. It is not selfish to take time out to pamper yourself, lock yourself in a room to meditate or even dream about starting a business of your own. I know we often feel guilty when we take time away from our kids. We think that we need to stay with them 24/7 or they will feel abandoned. What about you? Why have you abandoned yourself?
It's time we teach our children by example. It's time we become the best moms, wives and business women possible. By putting ourselves and our dreams on the TO DO LIST.
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