Relationships and diets......

I read somewhere that we should desire the same relationship with food that we have with people. That really hit me hard. That explains so much about the last 10 yrs of my weight issues. I had such a negative relationship with food because my personal relationships were also issues in my life.

From an abusive childhood to a cheating husband. My life with filled with broken relationships. I remember at one time feeling like I was invisible....like no one loved me. That was a feeling that I struggled with for many years.

Then I discovered that I was worth loving. I began to unravel my emotions and took control of my life. I got off the roller coaster and decided that no matter what happened I was going to evolve. I was going to become the woman I knew I could be.

It didn't matter that I was disappointed about my failed relationships. I could either crumble beneath the weight of my emotions or I could pull myself out of the rubble. I decided to rise. I decided to grow and travel the path of my destiny.

I was not going to let my past determine my future. I was not going to continue to live in the shadows of my pain. I had to get up, wipe my eyes and move forward. Although the journey has been extremely difficult I am grateful for the lessons I have learned.

I can now look back and see the purpose in all the pain. It was part of me growing. I was being strengthened through my pain. With every inch I struggle to get out from under the rubble..I became stronger.

I was getting ready for work this morning and had a revelation or what others may call an "ah ha" moment. For years I have been on a treadmill....running but staying in the same place. Recycling through my emotions. Although the load got lighter as I let go of certain things in my life I was still in the same form.

Now I have decided to use what I have gone through...the weight of my pain and emotions....and I have used them to gain strength and build a new life......BUILD A NEW ME....tranforming this vessel and for once being proud of who I am.

I can now pick up and put down the weight and let it transform me. I have the strength to get through. My mind has changed, my spirit and faith have gotten stronger and I know who I am. When you know how you are at the depth of your soul....nothing can hold you back.

A trainer at the gym commented the other day and said "you must be on a mission because you are here everyday". I sure am on a mission. Not just to lose weight but to release the emotions that caused me to gain the weight. I am releasing the pain, rejection and disappointments.

I am on a mission to completely tranform my life and create a discipline and strength within that nothing can destroy. I know I am worth every rep, every set, every drop of sweat, every sore muscle, every mile, every ounce of healthy food, and every pound I lose.

I know my struggle and pain has not been in vain. I have gained so much along this journey and I hope that it may encourage someone to live today. I pray that it may turn on a switch in someones mind to chose themselves first and go for their dreams.

Inside each in every single one of us is a desire to be our authentic self. To live fully as ourselves and embrace life. Instead of hiding behind layers of guilt, shame and pain we must take a stand and for once take control of our lives.

We are worth it and we must begin to mend the brokeness that brought us here. We must create a successful relationship with ourselves, our bodies and the food we eat. Let the process begin......

Check out my fitness blog to follow my journey www.templeofgodfitness.blogspot.com