Cleansing My Soul

Lately I have had a strange feeling in my spirit. I usually feel this way when things are moving and transitioning in my life. It is like the thunder before a storm.

Sure enough things began to fall around me this week. I experienced some anxiety and stress but still managed to hold on to my faith.

I have learned through my journey that no matter what opposition comes your way you can overcome it by your perception. You can see the opposition as destruction or you can look at it as an opportunity.

I know that God is in control of my life. I also know that what ever should be in my life is my life to teach me and mold me into the vessel that God called me to be.

There are great things in store for me. I know it and I feel it. Over these last couple of months I have became more disciplined and it is beginning to manifest into amazing opportunities.

I can't focus on what is going "wrong" in my life. It is not really going wrong. It is all according to the will of God. I would often find myself saying "I may not be where I want to be but.....". I recently have changed that saying to "I am were I want to be. I am in the will of God".

Even if I don't like where I am I must realize that I am in God's will. I am faithful that He has placed me where I am for a season and a reason. Nothing is out of His control as long as I surrender it all to Him.

Along this process of self discovery I have endured many things. I have done somethings I am ashamed of and people have done things to me that have left me feeling depleted. I have carried those emotions and memories for too long.

There are days that I am happy and then the next moment I find myself reacting harshly. It is like I snap from one personality to the next with out any thought. Why? Because I have buried emotions and unresolved issues. Instead of letting them go I have covered them up. I have created walls and dug trenches to hid within.

So today I realized that this situation I find myself in has come about so that I begin to cleanse my soul of the unresolved issues. I can't keep hiding and expecting them to go away. I can't keep hiding behind layers of insecurities and fears. I can't keep saying I am strong and powerful while holding onto this baggage that pulls me down and depletes me.

I am cleansing my soul today. Regardless of what people may think about me I have to let go. I have to release the emotions and detach myself from memories that have kept me bond. I must make room for everything God has in store for me.

It is time to bloom. It is time to fly. It is time to be fully me.

I would rather you hate me for who I am.....than love me for who I am not.