Rehabilitation

So lately I have been dealing with my grandmother's illness. She was diagnosed several years ago with Alzheimer's. My grandma who I have called Nana my whole life was like my mother. She helped raise me because my mom was a young teen mother and my dad was never around. I have a very special place in my heart for her and though I have peace with what she is going through right now I wish my little girl could have known her like I did. So anyways, My reason for this blog today is to share with you what God revealed to me the other day when I was visiting her at her new assisted living home. It is crazy how God speaks to me about situations that so many look at naturally. He reveals His spirit through them because really that is what this illusion is all about....spirit. My grandmas situation occured to show me something about myself and about life. So this is how the story goes. Well my grandma has just recently been placed in an assisted living home because her husband could not longer take care of her. Her husband has tried to keep her family away from her. He is a very controling and unstable man. The last time I spent time with her was about a month ago. I had picked her up from her house when her caretaker was watching her. Her husband was at work that is the only time we can see her. Pretty sad but that is how it has been. So I took her to my house and made dinner. She was perfectly fine. The average person would not be able to see there was anything wrong with her until she starts talking because she doesn't make scense. We ate dinner and she did fine. She fed herself and was upbeat and happy. Then we went to visit my mom so she could see her. I took her home around 8pm. The reason I am telling you all this in detail is so that you can see the difference from her state now. So currently she is in a wheelchair unable to walk because she was placed in a hospital prior to her assisted living home for 4 days. She was bound to her bed and unable to get up on her own for fear that she would leave or try to hurt herself or others. Due to her apparent "attack" on her husband. A week ago she was unable to feed herself or even speak. She was heavily medicated in the hospital and pretty out of it when I first saw her. As of this saturday I saw her and she is doing better with feeding herself. I try to encourage her to feed herself when I am there during her dinner. The reason she lost all of her normal function is because of muscle memory. Because she was not allowed to do anything for herself she lost memory of it that fast. So it really got me to thinking about myself. To be honest with you everyone else as well.

This is what God showed me about myself. Like I have said in my other blogs we are all spiritual beings and many of us are still unconscious and unaware of what we truly are. We are unaware of the power that we have within us. We are unaware of the authority God has given us. Because we are unaware of this power we don't even use it. We walk around feeling defeated and victimized. We feel afraid to pursue our dreams and visions because we don't feel adequate enough. You know that vision you have for you and your family? God has an even greater one and He has already equipped you to obtain it. We have to awaken that memory....we have to renew our minds to walk according to the ordinances of God. We can't walk around here feeling defeated and disgusted. We must remember that we have been called....set apart for a greater plan. It is hard to snap out of our pitty parties sometimes because we are so accustomed to playing the "whoa is me" role. Let's stop talking about what we have been through. Let's stop thinking about the failures and the disappointments. Let's awaken to the truth. Everything you thought was failure was really a set up. How could we search for the light if we were never in darkness. The bible says that what the enemy meant for bad God will turn around for your God to save much people alive. It is not about your failure. It is about showing others that even though you fell down you still got back up. You stepped over your fears and pursued your dreams. Don't forget who you are. Don't lay dormant and lose your power. You have been called to walk this earth with authority. God has designed you to weather the storm and come out on the other side of your pain.

So on Friday the physical therapist came to visit my grandma to help her regain her walking. Although it was a little challenge she did wonderful with our assistance and the assistance of a walker. She also massaged her legs and did some exercises with her legs while she laid on the bed. She mentioned how when she was rotating her hips she could tell my grandma was guarding herself. Like she was afraid to feel the pain so she wouldn't let go and allow the full rotation. The therapist said she must of been hurt and is afraid to trust me. How many of us feel that way? How many of us have been hurt in a relationship and are afraid to love again. How many of us are afraid to trust God because of what another person did to us. I know that was me. My dad never kept his promises and so subconsciously I didn't trust anyone else. That even carried on into my marriage. I set myself up for that disappointment because I guarded myself from feeling the pain. I didn't know that I was still wounded from when I was a little girl. I didn't know that I was causing my own pain because I wouldn't open up my heart and let myself feel love. I expected to be hurt and rejected. Remember our issues of life flow from our hearts and as a man thinketh in his heart so is he. So we have to learn to trust again. Like my grandma eventually did. We have to learn to allow the full rotation.....the process of healing and rehabilation to take place. We can stand up and walk again by faith. Don't forget who you are. You were created by faith. God spoke you and mold you into existance out of nothing.