My Cup Runneth Over

As I blog today I am just filled with so much joy and gratitude. Nobody knows like I know what the Lord has done for me. No one knows about the private moments of solitude when I didn't want to even take another breath because I was so gripped with pain. My heart was broken. My mind was a warfield. I was so depressed and alone that I would rather die then feel another day of pain, rejection or disappointment. I remember crying like a baby and asking God to just take it all away. I was praying the storm away. Every ounce of me felt depleted? My life felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds and dragged behind me. My issues seemed never ending. I didn't think I could ever be happy again after all the sadness. It was as if life punched me in the stomach and took my breath away. How could I get back up again? How could I find the love to accept the people who hurt me the most? How could I love myself when no one else seemed to love me? How could I find the strength to keep pressing towards what my spirit new was truth? No one knows my personal pain but many have experienced their own.

I remember lying awake at night running scenarios through my head. How will this work out. Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? WHY? WHY? WHY Lord WHY? Everytime I thought I understood and had it figured out the floor was taken from beneath me again. Once I had gotten up from one knock down here came another blow. I had began to question if God was real and if He even cared for me. Did He even see the pain? Did He hear my cry? Why is He not sending help? Why doesn't He just make it all stop? Those times in my life felt so heavy. They were so heavy that they kept me on my knees. I constantly had to seek the Lord for His strength. Although I endured many horrible days and nights I also remember the nights when God ministered to my soul. I remember feeling His arms around me as I sat in the dark crying. I remember hearing His voice telling me to keep holding on. God never left me nor forsaked me. He was always surrounding me with His love.

Today I can look back at those times and see God's hand. I can see how He used those times when I didn't even know my name to show me my true identity in Him. He used the same pain I couldn't describe in words to know inspire others with words of truth and hope.

I now know that we suffer through our flesh. Our flesh or ego are our carnal perceptions that have been formed from our circumstances and surroundings. BUT, within us lies a truth that surpasses all understanding. It is a truth in spirit that takes what the enemy (our carnal mind) means for bad and turns it around for good. Not just to save and awaken you but to save much people....to save nations. God took what I percieved as a bad time and used it to give me the words to minister to others. The hardships were times when God came in and stripped me of false identities. He shaped me and molded me into a vessel that could contain all that He had prepared for me. I no longer leak the truth...I am no longer bleeding. I am healed and now my cup runneth over. I have so much joy and peace that I am able to minster words of hope to others. Today I praise and thank God for all the amazing things He is doing in my life. I am so overjoyed by His grace and mercy. His love saturates my soul. Today I send love, hope, peace and encouragement to all of those who think that they can't take it anymore. When you feel like you are at the end of your rope that is when you will realize that you are not alone. You are not sufficient in yourself. You need the spirit of God to minister to the wounds that have been bleeding for years. You need God's love to heal your heart and teach you to love others and yourself again. You need His strength to keep pressing through the difficult times. You need His wisdom to help you pursue your calling and His peace to sustain you when you feel all hope is gone.

Today as my cup runneth over I invite you to stretch out your hands and partake of these words of life.

In God's Love,
Papi's Girl