Perfect Love

And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwellth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgement: because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:16-18

I found myself living in fear. Wondering what if this happens and what if that doesn't happen. What if....what if.....what if? My life was so driven by fear. I lived in torment each day. Somedays I had a smile on my face and other days I couldn't stop crying. Often times I lived with anger and just wanted to scream or hurt someone.

These emotions were so really to me that I often times wondered why was I even alive anymore. As if my only way of peace would be death. Tears fill my eyes now just thinkng of the nights I laid awake with anxiety, fear and despair. My own mind was my worst enemy. I felt like a failure at times for not being where I thought I needed to be in life. I beat myself up for all the times I lost it. I lost my joy and my peace. I lost my mind. How could I lose it? How could I be so unstable when I knew in my mind that God loved me? How could I hate myself so much when I was taught that God was within me? I was tired of losing it. I was tired of riding the rollercoaster of emotions that tormented me day and night. How could I escape the bondages of my soul? How could I live with peace and joy in my heart when I felt so depleted, broken and alone?

I realized that all of my fear and torment came from the relationships I had in my past. I was wounded by people that I believed loved me so much. Fear often forms when we are wounded, disappointed, rejected and neglected. Love is the opposite of fear. It is nuturing. It embraces us and gives us a sense of security. Love sets us free. When we don't feel that security we feel vulnerable. Instead of putting ourselves out there and walking in freedom we shelter ourselves and place ourselves in bondage. We hide ourselves and never give ourselves the chance to experience true love. We never give ourselves the chance to walk in our true identity. Love is not just about a relationship with a loved one or a friend. Love is not just an emotion we feel. Love is really who we are.


The word of God says that God is love. It says that God dwells within us. So if God is love and dwells within us then we are love too. Love is our true identity. When we are awaken to the revelation that we are love then all fears and insecurities are cast out. We no longer walk in the bondages of our past because we realize that our past is not who we are. We don't have to live in the constant torment of disappointments. We don't have to protect ourselves from the world. One bad decision or failure does not mean you will always have them. When you learn that God loves you and will never forsake you then it doesn't matter who is or isn't in your life. I doesn't matter who abused you or let you down. Your past does not define you. You are love. You are unlimited in love. You can walk with boldness and take possesion of what God has promised you.


Remember the song: "Looking for love in all the wrong places"? That is what we do. We think that we are made complete in a relationship. We seek love from others. Whether it be from a man, a friend or a family member. We often times think that our healing comes from others. The word of God actually says that "He that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect." The word perfect means complete, of full age. The only way to be complete is to go back to where you came from. We are from God so "herein" is where you are completed....healed and made whole through love. Being perfect in God's love does not mean you will not experience pain or grief. It only means that it will not label you...it will not define you...it will not hinder you or keep you from fulfilling God's will.

I know how scary it is to confront your past. I know how difficult it is to confront those people that have broken your heart. I do believe without a shadow of a doubt that it is very important in the healing processes. Many times we sweep emotions under the rug and hope they just go away. What we fail to realize is that by releasing those feelings you break the chains that have keep you living in fear. Our relationships or experiences often define our relationship with God. We can't get past the lack of trust we have with our loved one so then we don't trust God. We can never be perfected in love if we don't let go of the past. We can never walk forth in our true identity in the kingdom of God if we keep looking back.

We must look within. We must unwrap the bandages of our wounds so they can heal. We must open our hearts again and embrace love. We must embrace life. We must embrace ourselves and give ourselves the opportunity to feel love....to love ourselves....and yes, even to love those that have hurt us.